{"id":5946,"date":"2021-12-17T19:28:59","date_gmt":"2021-12-17T19:28:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/psychology\/how-to-speak-with-a-teenager-7-effective-tips-for-communication\/"},"modified":"2021-12-17T19:28:59","modified_gmt":"2021-12-17T19:28:59","slug":"how-to-speak-with-a-teenager-7-effective-tips-for-communication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/psychology\/how-to-speak-with-a-teenager-7-effective-tips-for-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"How to speak with a teenager?  7 effective tips for communication"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"\">\n<p><strong>Adolescence is a stage full of intense changes on a biological, psychological, sexual and social level.<\/strong>.  This consists of a transition from childhood to adulthood, which begins with puberty, when the sexual maturation of the boy or girl occurs.  You could say that going through this phase is like riding a roller coaster full of ups and downs.<\/p>\n<p>This makes dealing with a teenager no easy task, especially when it comes to communication.  Parents with children between the ages of 10 and 19 often encounter countless barriers to accessing them, speaking to them, understanding how they feel, and resolving conflicts that arise at home without losing their roles in the attempt.<\/p>\n<p>Adolescence is much more than a biological maturation process.  It also involves fundamental psychological aspects such as the search for one's own identity, the acquisition of greater autonomy with respect to the figures of reference, the development of abstract thinking, the establishment of close relationships with peers, the definition of one's own body image or self-image. elaboration of the scale of values.<\/p>\n<h2>Adolescence: an emotional whirlwind<\/h2>\n<p><strong>On an emotional level, adolescence unleashes a whirlwind of new emotions<\/strong>, as the affective capacity to establish relationships with peers and feel emotional states hitherto unknown, such as romantic love, begins to develop.  With the arrival of this phase, the social circle expands beyond family and classmates.  In this way, the adolescent can begin to know other realities, ceasing to idealize parents as reference models (something typical of childhood) to start looking for their ideals outside the family environment.<\/p>\n<p>One of the peculiarities of adolescence is that, although it is a process by which more and more autonomy and maturity are achieved, the behavior of a minor adolescent is still very different from that of an adult.  Brain development in adolescents is not yet complete, as the frontal lobe area is not mature.<\/p>\n<p>This has important behavioral implications, as this area of \u200b\u200bthe brain is closely related to impulse control and decision-making.  For this reason, adolescents tend to act impulsively without measuring the consequences of their actions, which can often lead them to engage in risky activities and make unfortunate inappropriate decisions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>All this makes managing communication with adolescents a real challenge<\/strong>.  If you find yourself in this position, read on, because in this article we are going to review some guidelines to communicate properly with a teenager.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"\"><picture>\n    <span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:inline-block;overflow:hidden;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;position:relative;max-width:100%\"><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;max-width:100%\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" style=\"display:block;max-width:100%;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0\" alt=\"\" aria-hidden=\"true\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMTIwMCIgaGVpZ2h0PSI3MjAiIHhtbG5zPSJodHRwOi8vd3d3LnczLm9yZy8yMDAwL3N2ZyIgdmVyc2lvbj0iMS4xIi8+\"\/><\/span><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Adolescence emotions\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Adolescence emotions\" src=\"https:\/\/medicoplus.com\/_next\/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fplustatic.com%2F6528%2Fadolescencia-emociones.jpg&amp;w=1280&amp;q=75 1x\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/noscript><\/span><\/p>\n<\/picture><figcaption>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2>The keys to communicating with a teenager<\/h2>\n<p>As we have been commenting, talking to a teenager is by no means an easy task.  However, following a few guidelines can help facilitate fluent communication with a teenager.  Let's get to know them.<\/p>\n<h3>1. Find the moment<\/h3>\n<p>Although it may seem obvious, finding a good time to speak is a first step in getting communication going. <strong>It is important that conversations are not imposed or forced<\/strong>, since this will only contribute to the adolescent closing in on the band and refusing to talk about any topic.  Far from pressuring and questioning him to tell us, it is preferable to be available to listen whenever he wants.  In this way, communication will be much more natural and fluid.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"\"><picture>\n    <span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:inline-block;overflow:hidden;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;position:relative;max-width:100%\"><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;max-width:100%\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" style=\"display:block;max-width:100%;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0\" alt=\"\" aria-hidden=\"true\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMTYwMCIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDY1IiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHZlcnNpb249IjEuMSIvPg==\"\/><\/span><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Talking teenager\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Talking teenager\" src=\"https:\/\/medicoplus.com\/_next\/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fplustatic.com%2F6529%2Fhablar-adolescente.jpg&amp;w=1280&amp;q=75 1x\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/noscript><\/span><\/p>\n<\/picture><figcaption>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3>2. Don't just scold or give speeches<\/h3>\n<p>It is essential that communication is not limited to arguments, fights or one-way speeches. <strong>Responding only with punishments will only favor distancing<\/strong> and that the adolescent stops trusting you to talk about himself.<\/p>\n<p>Although sometimes calls for attention may appear if he does something inappropriate, it is essential that the bulk of the communication is in a serene and pleasant tone, talking about pleasant topics for him and that denote that you feel interest in his environment, his hobbies, dreams, etc.<\/p>\n<p>To promote pleasant everyday communication, it is important that you can share daily time at times such as meals, since in this way there is a space in which the conversation arises spontaneously and it is easy to talk about the day to day.  Try to ask open-ended questions that lead to broad answers, make comments that encourage the adolescent to participate in the conversation, and listen carefully when they speak.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Negotiate<\/h3>\n<p>When it comes to educating, the ideal is always to adopt a democratic style.  Although in essential points it is necessary to be firm, there are aspects that are negotiable.  In other words, it is necessary to find a balance between discipline and what the adolescent wants.  Therefore, communication is very important not only to point out what you are doing wrong, but also to agree on some rules (for example, the time of arrival home) and to explain why these rules.<\/p>\n<p><strong>It is necessary to explain to the adolescent that the rules allow ordering coexistence<\/strong> to favor all members of the family and that they are not an arbitrary whim designed to annoy you.  Educating and setting limits is not at odds with gaining the adolescent's trust, because although in this phase their autonomy is increasing, we cannot forget that they continue to need the guidance of adults.<\/p>\n<h3>4. keep calm<\/h3>\n<p>On many occasions, it is easy to lose your temper when it comes to dealing with a teenager.  However, it is essential to remember that adults, especially parents, are a role model for them.  This means that they will tend to imitate the behaviors they see in them, so it is important not to lose your cool.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Yelling and getting upset will only add to the tension of the moment<\/strong> and to teach an inappropriate pattern of conflict resolution.  When you perceive that the conversation is turning into an argument, it is important to pause until both of you are calmer and you can speak from the calm.  In this sense, it is necessary to communicate what we want to say with assertiveness.  If we have been bothered by something that the adolescent has done, it is necessary to indicate specifically what he has done wrong and how he could do it better.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"\"><picture>\n    <span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:inline-block;overflow:hidden;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;position:relative;max-width:100%\"><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;max-width:100%\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" style=\"display:block;max-width:100%;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0\" alt=\"\" aria-hidden=\"true\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMTIwMCIgaGVpZ2h0PSI3MDAiIHhtbG5zPSJodHRwOi8vd3d3LnczLm9yZy8yMDAwL3N2ZyIgdmVyc2lvbj0iMS4xIi8+\"\/><\/span><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Keep calm\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Keep calm\" src=\"https:\/\/medicoplus.com\/_next\/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fplustatic.com%2F6530%2Fmantener-calma.jpg&amp;w=1280&amp;q=75 1x\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/noscript><\/span><\/p>\n<\/picture><figcaption>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3>5. Accept that you are no longer a child<\/h3>\n<p>It is common for many parents to feel frustrated as their children's ways of being change as they reach adolescence.  The tenderness and spontaneity of childhood begin to fade and displays of affection may be scarce.  At this point, many parents insist on treating the adolescent like a child, sometimes going so far as to reproach him for how much he has changed compared to how he was before.  However, this will only serve to invalidate them as people and make them feel disrespected.<\/p>\n<p>It is essential to accept that adolescence is a phase of change where distancing from parents is normal. <strong>It is common for them to feel ashamed of them and not feel comfortable with shows of love or tenderness<\/strong>.  As parents, it is crucial to know how to adapt to this new stage, assuming these changes and respecting the wishes of the adolescent without making him feel bad for having changed, since it is a natural matter of development.<\/p>\n<h3>6. Empathize and respect their point of view<\/h3>\n<p>It is common that parents, sometimes without being aware, tend to downplay their children's concerns.  From an adult perspective, a teenager's problems may seem trivial or unimportant.  However, what matters is not so much the situation itself as how it affects the adolescent.<\/p>\n<p>In this sense, it is crucial to validate how you can feel, <strong>respect that he may be distressed by certain topics and convey our understanding<\/strong>.  In this way, speaking calmly, you can look for alternatives to solve that situation that worries you.  It is crucial to avoid phrases such as \"at your age I did not have your facilities\" or \"I as an adult know much more than you\", since this only serves to widen the gap between the two, generating distance.  The adolescent needs to feel understood and listened to, to feel that we are putting ourselves on their level and that what they tell us is important.<\/p>\n<h3>7. Do pleasant activities with him \/ her<\/h3>\n<p>In order to maintain a healthy bond with the adolescent and foster a climate of trust and support, <strong>necessary share quality time<\/strong>.  Try to know those activities that you like or are good at and try to find time to carry them out together.  This can be a way to connect more and have moments to talk naturally, without pressure.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"\"><picture>\n    <span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:inline-block;overflow:hidden;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;position:relative;max-width:100%\"><span style=\"box-sizing:border-box;display:block;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0;max-width:100%\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" style=\"display:block;max-width:100%;width:initial;height:initial;background:none;opacity:1;border:0;margin:0;padding:0\" alt=\"\" aria-hidden=\"true\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMjEyMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxNDE0IiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHZlcnNpb249IjEuMSIvPg==\"\/><\/span><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Teenage mother\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Teenage mother\" src=\"https:\/\/medicoplus.com\/_next\/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fplustatic.com%2F6531%2Fmadre-adolescente.jpg&amp;w=1280&amp;q=75 1x\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"intrinsic\" style=\"position:absolute;top:0;left:0;bottom:0;right:0;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0;border:none;margin:auto;display:block;width:0;height:0;min-width:100%;max-width:100%;min-height:100%;max-height:100%\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/noscript><\/span><\/p>\n<\/picture><figcaption>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2>Conclusions.<\/h2>\n<p>In this article we have reviewed some useful tips for approaching communication with adolescents.  Adolescence is a complex stage, since it is full of physical, emotional, social changes ... so that there is great emotional instability, impulsivity and growing desires for autonomy.  All of this constitutes a cocktail that can make communication a challenge.<\/p>\n<p>Thus, <strong>it is necessary to be available to listen to the adolescent without forcing or pressing<\/strong>, talk about topics that interest you, share quality time and negotiate the rules.  It is crucial that adults are suitable role models, avoiding losing their temper in discussions and maintaining calm conversations with a good dose of assertiveness.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kk-star-ratings kksr-auto kksr-align-center kksr-valign-bottom\"\n    data-payload='{&quot;align&quot;:&quot;center&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:&quot;5946&quot;,&quot;slug&quot;:&quot;default&quot;,&quot;valign&quot;:&quot;bottom&quot;,&quot;ignore&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;reference&quot;:&quot;auto&quot;,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;count&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;legendonly&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;readonly&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;score&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;starsonly&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;best&quot;:&quot;5&quot;,&quot;gap&quot;:&quot;4&quot;,&quot;greet&quot;:&quot;Rate this post&quot;,&quot;legend&quot;:&quot;0\\\/5 - (0 votes)&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;24&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;How to speak with a teenager?  7 effective tips for communication&quot;,&quot;width&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;_legend&quot;:&quot;{score}\\\/{best} - ({count} {votes})&quot;,&quot;font_factor&quot;:&quot;1.25&quot;}'>\n            \n<div class=\"kksr-stars\">\n    \n<div class=\"kksr-stars-inactive\">\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" data-star=\"1\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" data-star=\"2\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" data-star=\"3\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" data-star=\"4\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" data-star=\"5\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n    \n<div class=\"kksr-stars-active\" style=\"width: 0px;\">\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n            <div class=\"kksr-star\" style=\"padding-right: 4px\">\n            \n\n<div class=\"kksr-icon\" style=\"width: 24px; height: 24px;\"><\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n                \n\n<div class=\"kksr-legend\" style=\"font-size: 19.2px;\">\n            <span class=\"kksr-muted\">Rate this post<\/span>\n    <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Adolescence is a stage full of intense changes on a biological, psychological,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5947,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5946","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5946","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5946"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5946\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5947"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5946"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5946"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enorcerna.com\/wiki\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5946"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}