The 5 psychological effects of loneliness: how does being alone affect us?

There is no doubt that today's society is characterized by favoring loneliness. We are not talking about that chosen solitude, so necessary and healthy, that allows us to make a truce and dedicate time to ourselves.

In this case we are talking about imposed loneliness, the kind that despairs and isolates the most vulnerable people in an invisible cage that cruelly undermines their physical and mental health.

Western society has achieved great successes, and one of them is to achieve high levels of longevity in the population. Although this progress is positive, the truth is that we are not prepared to address the needs that this entails. Older people are the most vulnerable to loneliness, so if their years of life are prolonged, it is essential that they be of quality.

Alone in a world that won't let us be alone

Many citizens live alone out of obligation, without social support of any kind, without the warmth of company and affection. There are more than we can imagine who have no family, who have lost their friends or find many architectural barriers to socializing.

Our lives today are so fast, so saturated with tasks and obligations, that this sense of community has been lost. that once allowed to weave networks that made life a little easier. We don't have time to call our relatives or worry about that friend who is down, much less to find out who the neighbor next door is and if he needs anything.

In other words, those human values ​​that served as a shield against loneliness have been diluted in the speed of individualism. Loneliness is for human beings a living death. Feeling alone is a perception that can coincide with being physically isolated, although sometimes loneliness is experienced surrounded by people, something that usually happens in big cities.

In any case, this feeling leads to serious consequences for the well-being of the person who suffers it, undermining their physical and psychological health. In the case of older people, loneliness can accelerate deterioration and hasten dependency and death.

Nevertheless, loneliness is a state that can be experienced at any time in life. In this article we are going to talk about loneliness, the causes that produce it and the psychological effects that it has on people.

Causes of loneliness

Thinking that a person has absolutely no one close to us may seem impossible, but the truth is that this is a sad reality for many. Reaching this situation can be the result of various risk factors., which expose the person to high vulnerability. We are going to know some of the most common causes that can lead someone to feel alone.

• live in a big city:

In large cities it is common for people live faster, with little time to attend to others. Due to the fact that the population is much larger, it is usual that we do not even know our own neighbors, so the possibility of weaving community networks, as happens in the towns, is lost.

• Loss of a loved one:

Losing a loved one is a hard blow that leaves a deep sadness and a feeling of emptiness. Grieving can be especially difficult for those who do not have other people to provide them with support and care. Many people who are widowed in old age can find themselves deeply isolated without the possibility or strength to establish links with others.

• Separation, divorce or unelected singleness:

Breakups or being single when you want the opposite can generate a great feeling of loneliness. Those who have left a relationship can feel unsuccessful and emotionally devastated, as they must start a life alone without the company of their partner. Children of separated parents can also feel very lonely, as they must start a new life divided in two full of fears and uncertainty.

• Social skills deficit:

Not everyone performs equally well in interactions with others. There are those who have very few resources and strategies to relate, which can be a huge obstacle to prevent loneliness. Expressing feelings and needs, talking, praising and criticizing... are real challenges for many people.

The people with mental health problems are more vulnerable to lonelinesssince they tend to feel less security, have lower self-esteem, poor social skills, sadness and lack of motivation towards relationships with others.

There are many milestones in life that can make us feel lonely. The most common are retirement, becoming unemployed, changes in jobs and cities, the departure of children from the home (which can generate the so-called Empty Nest Syndrome in parents), among others.

Loneliness can appear at any time in life, although the elderly and adolescents are the most vulnerable. In the case of old age, it is clear that loneliness lurks due to physical and cognitive deterioration, the death of a partner, the limited involvement of society with the elderly, the lack of care provided by children...

In the case of adolescents, the weight of peers can be very harmful, since when there is rejection or it is not possible to fit in, this can produce devastating loneliness. Added to this, the abuse of social networks can seriously limit real relationships with other people.

Although adolescents are always associated with the abuse of networks, the truth is that we have all fallen into addiction to platforms such as WhatsApp or Instagram. Through them we are more connected, but the communication is much colder and more distant.

As we mentioned before, loneliness is not just a thing for the elderly. Many boys and girls feel alone and in this sense the type of education received from their parents can have an influence. Those with a tendency to be overprotective of their children and distrustful may increase the tendency of the little ones to isolate themselves from others.

How does loneliness affect our emotional health?

Next, we are going to comment on some of the psychological effects that loneliness can have on us.

1. Depression and anxiety

The truth is that feeling alone increases our vulnerability to psychopathological disorders, especially anxiety and depression. Loneliness increases our negative emotions, since it makes us feel empty, fear, uncertainty, etc. It is essential to maintain a routine that allows us to have a minimum of social interactions on a daily basis.

Even if you don't work or do it from home, you can try to carry out some collective leisure activity, try to keep in touch with your friends as much as possible, call your relatives, etc. Having a dynamic social life is a good protector against emotional upset.

2. Generate dependent relationships due to the need to be accompanied

Many people who feel lonely embark on relationships with people who do not treat them properly, generating highly toxic dependency dynamics. Human beings are social beings and we need others. In moments of despair, we settle for little because of that urgent need to feel accompanied and protected.

3. Low self-esteem and negative self-perception

Interacting with others makes us feel better about ourselves, since it improves our self-perception and feeling of competence. On the contrary, when we do not satisfy our need for socialization, we can feel dissatisfied in our skin, we perceive ourselves as worthless that does not deserve the attention of others.

4. Physical problems

Feeling alone can cause a decrease in our ability to focus and concentrate. Sleep disturbances and eating problems may also appear. Similarly, our immune system can be depressed, which makes us more vulnerable to contracting diseases. Added to this, older people can develop dementia and a much faster degeneration of their condition.

5. Substance abuse and/or dependence and other addictions

feel alone it can lead us to seek relief in external elements that calm our discomfort in the short term, although in the medium and long term they only contribute to aggravate the problem even more.

There are people who develop addiction to alcohol and other drugs such as joints or cocaine. In other cases, an excessive consumption of psychoactive drugs is observed, such as antidepressants or anxiolytics. There are also those who seek to calm their discomfort by making compulsive purchases or starting to play the game.

Conclusions

In this article we have talked about loneliness, the causes that can cause it and its psychological effects on people. Loneliness is unfortunately a common phenomenon in our society.

The increased longevity of the population and the fast-paced lifestyle that we lead have contributed to many people, especially the elderly, feeling deeply alone. There are certain risk factors that make loneliness more likely, such as living in large cities, being elderly or a teenager, suffering from a psychological problem, having lost a loved one, experiencing a major life change, etc.

When this feeling occurs, people can develop depression and anxiety, cling to unhealthy relationships, start all kinds of addictions, and even experience physical problems.